The Holidays Used to Be Fun…

I miss when I used to look forward to the holidays. As soon as Halloween ends, there’s this nagging sense of dread and a hint of anxiety that creeps in. I’m not entirely sure why because, technically, I’m still doing all the same holiday things: hanging with family, eating, drinking, and “being merry”. But despite all that, it just feels….different?

It reminds me of a quote from the Christmas classic A Charlie Brown Christmas:

I can’t put my finger on why my mindset surrounding the holidays has shifted so much. Is it because I’m getting older? Changes in the family dynamic? Or maybe it’s the sudden awareness of how commercialized it all is? 

In moments like these, I do what most people do: scour the internet to make sure I’m not the only one (because validation from strangers on the internet just hits different). To my comfort, I wasn’t alone!

After reading about how others feel, I pulled together some common threads and suspicions about why the holidays seem to feel a little different as we get older. If you’re in the same boat, I hope this post brings you a little comfort in knowing you’re not alone. This is just one of those oddly universal parts of the human experience.

1. We’re getting older

*Sigh* The realization that the joy of the holidays largely belong to the youth. Gone are the days where the thanksgiving dinner just “magically” appears on the table and Santa would just drop presents under the tree. Growing up is realizing that it takes a lot of time, money, and effort to make any of that “magic” happen. Whether you’re tackling thanksgiving dinner on your own or coordinating with family members on who’s bringing what dish, it takes work. And ironically, sometimes it can be a thankless job. It’s no wonder all of this can make the holidays feel a little more daunting.

2. The holidays come with pressure

Pressure to be merrily involved. Pressure to show up as your best self. Pressure to “perform”. 

No one wants to be that family member. You know, the problematic one that everyone gossips about as soon as they leave the room? Idk it feels like there’s this unspoken pressure to prove you’re doing amazing while somehow also staying “open” and “vulnerable” enough to dodge judgment. It’s a delicate dance, and honestly? It’s exhausting. (Shoutout to those who embrace being that family member, though! You’re living the dream most of us are too scared to chase)

3. The family dynamic has changed

This one’s a biggie. The changes might look different for everyone: divorces, losing loved ones, new babies, marriages, breakups. All of these things can disrupt the holiday traditions your family holds closest.

Some changes are exciting and welcomed with open arms! Others, not so much. Adjusting to new dynamics can take time (I know they do for me) and sometimes leaves a bittersweet feeling in the air. For families where traditions are a big deal, having to compromise, share, or completely reimagine them can throw off the usual holiday vibe you’ve grown accustomed to.

4. You’re going through your own life transitions

Let’s be real. Life is already hard enough when you’re just trying to figure out your own shit. Adding the chaos of the holidays to the mix? Whew .

It could be anything: feeling stuck in your career, dealing with financial struggles, navigating a strained relationship, or just trying to manage your mental health. These things can bring up all types of emotions, especially during the holidays when family members are often checking in on you, asking awkward personal questions. What’s new in your life?”, “When are you going to [insert life milestone here]?”

Sometimes the honest answer is, “I have no idea!” But the pressure to explain yourself, or even just reflect on what’s not going well, can stir up all kinds of emotions. It’s enough to make anyone approach the holidays with a little hesitation.

So how do you navigate the season when it feels more overwhelming than joyful? While it’s tempting to just grin and bear it (or my own personal fav: binging holiday rom-coms while obliterating a bag of Skinny Pop and chugging Coke Zero), I think it’s worth trying to take back some of that holiday joy in small, intentional ways:

#1 Set Boundaries
Give yourself permission to say no. Whether it’s skipping an event that feels draining or limiting how much time you spend with certain relatives, protecting your headspace is key. Despite it being the holidays, it’s okay to put yourself first when you need to.

#2 Start a New Tradition
If old traditions feel off or don’t seem fit anymore, make your own! Host a Christmas movie marathon with friends, have a solo day inside and bake your favorite treats, or take a day trip somewhere festive. Having a new tradition can breathe fresh life into the season.

#3 Practice Gratitude (Without the Guilt)
Yes, it’s the ultimate cliché, but finding small moments of gratitude, like savoring a cozy drink or laughing with a loved one, can really help reframe your perspective.

So, yeah, the holidays used to be fun. And they still can be…sometimes. But as I get older, I’m realizing that the magic feels a little different, and it’s truly what you make it. If this resonates with you, just know that you’re not alone. Maybe the holidays are less about being “merry” and “perfect”, and more about finding joy in the little moments and showing yourself some grace.

Here’s a small peak at what I was up to this Thanksgiving. Wishing everyone happy holidays this year!

The Holidays Used to Be Fun…