I Like Holding Grudges….And Honestly, It’s a Little Fun
So yeah, like the title says, I like holding grudges. I know grudges have a bad reputation (and yeah, most of the time for good reason), but idk…what if there’s such a thing as “good” grudges? When someone says they’re holding a grudge, it’s immediately seen as negative, and the person holding it gets all the judgment. But what if that grudge is actually helping them? Could it be teaching them how to set better boundaries?
We should hold grudges about people, not “against” them. A grudge shouldn’t have any “against” in it.
The thing is, holding a grudge doesn’t have to mean holding something against someone. I came across a writer who put it kind of nicely: “We should hold grudges about people, not ‘against’ them. A grudge shouldn’t have any ‘against’ in it” (check out her blog post here). That’s exactly how I see it. It’s not about feeling negatively toward someone, it’s more about acknowledging my emotions in the moment and remembering the situation so I can handle it better if it happens again. And if it does happen again, how can I manage it differently next time? For me, that’s what “good” grudges do: they’re like mental bookmarks where I can acknowledge my emotions, learn from the experience, and even learn something new about myself.
With all that said, I have to admit, I’m a girl that deeply hates confrontation so in most scenarios I tend to lean toward talking it out, forgiving, and just letting it go. But sometimes, just sometimes……I hold a grudge. In some ways, it helps me keep a healthy emotional distance from people who’ve caused me significant hurt. And I think it’s okay to remember a past action to protect yourself, as long as you’re not holding onto resentment or anger.
So, tell me: do you hold grudges? Do you think “good” grudges are even a thing, or am I just trying to justify my own delusions? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Maybe you’ve had an experience where a grudge helped you set better boundaries, or maybe you’ve wrestled with letting go of one for too long. Whatever your perspective, I’m all ears!
