Rants & Reflections – Lucid Lilac

How Long Are We Supposed to Keep Pretending…

Vanessa — Mon, 10 Nov 2025 02:55:02 +0000

You know, this is getting real old. Every day it’s the same: wake up, clock in, and smile through a job that values productivity over people (like, God forbid you have an off day). Meanwhile, capitalism’s out here doing its thing, hiking up the price of everything. Cut to me in the grocery store trying to decide if oat milk is worth a late payment notice. And somehow…

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No New Friends? (Except Maybe the Right Ones)

Vanessa — Sun, 02 Nov 2025 20:15:08 +0000

I’ve hit that weird stage in adulthood where I’m not exactly lonely, but I also haven’t really found my people, you know? Like that “ride-or-die” crew whose plans actually make it out of the group chat. And honestly, I thought by now I’d have that figured out. A solid little community. A brunch rotation. People to go halfsies on an Airbnb with. But here I am, still proud of where I’m at in…

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Crying at Commercials, Avoiding Your Friends, and Dodging Life Decisions

Vanessa — Sun, 17 Aug 2025 00:00:00 +0000

The title pretty much sums up my luteal phase. I’m deep in the woes of it, seriously considering moving to another country, changing my name, and shaving my head. Just a normal week. I feel like I’ve been rethinking everything in my life lately. Maybe not everything, but definitely the big stuff. “Am I happy with my current living situation?” “Have I outgrown the city I’ve called…

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The Holidays Used to Be Fun…

Vanessa — Sat, 07 Dec 2024 02:14:44 +0000

I miss when I used to look forward to the holidays. As soon as Halloween ends, there’s this nagging sense of dread and a hint of anxiety that creeps in. I’m not entirely sure why because, technically, I’m still doing all the same holiday things: hanging with family, eating, drinking, and “being merry”. But despite all that, it just feels….different? It reminds me of a quote from the Christmas…

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I Like Holding Grudges….And Honestly, It’s a Little Fun

Vanessa — Wed, 20 Nov 2024 18:56:30 +0000

So yeah, like the title says, I like holding grudges. I know grudges have a bad reputation (and yeah, most of the time for good reason), but idk…what if there’s such a thing as “good” grudges? When someone says they’re holding a grudge, it’s immediately seen as negative, and the person holding it gets all the judgment. But what if that grudge is actually helping them? Could it be teaching them how…

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I’ve Decided to be Selfish: Setting Boundaries in My 30s

Vanessa — Tue, 12 Nov 2024 23:59:49 +0000

Just for a little perspective, I’m writing this post the week after the 2024 presidential election–pausing for dramatic effect–to say I’m pissed off would be an understatement, but, as always, life goes on. The only word I have to describe what it feels like to be entering yet another Trump presidency is: hopeless. To feel like you did everything in your power to prevent the worst-case scenario…

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